life with four: how it is

Today I got an email from a social worker and a grant agency both asking the same question. In fact, it is the question I get most (besides, “are they yours?” and “are they twins?”). The question most people seem to want answered is, “how is life with 4 (kids)?”

When people ask how I’m doing and my response is that I am tired, they usually say something that has to do with the fact that we now have four kids. I mean, sure, four kids keeps a mom busy, but that is not the tired I am referring to. The tired I am referring to is an internal tired that is the result of a long two year process of living with a heart and attention divided, of many, many late nights of planning and paperwork, of traveling and living in a third-world country with four kids under 6 years old for two months (there are a lot of logistics stateside, familyside, and ugandaside to coordinate for that!). It is a tired that results from exposure to sadness, brokenness, and injustice on a level that I’ve yet to see and experience this close to home (and in my own home). It’s a tired from having to be ceaselessly vigilant and on top of every detail all the time. Finally, it’s a tired from bottling up the questions, thoughts, emotions and the processing of said journey (because who has time to deal with that messy stuff when there are so many imminent demands in front of you?). But that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about life with four, and I guess, for me, life with four kids is easy and normal and totally doable- compared to what we have been through in the last few months (I’ll call that, “life with 4, plus”). This day-to-day reality where we have to (*get to) navigate temper tantrums, hungry mouths, laundry, play dates, homework, baths, etc (x4), feels restful. It’s restful because we are all here under one roof and we get to focus on just living and being a family. And that, is fun! We sleep well, laugh a lot, and have already figured out how to sneak in some fun adventures (again, it’s all about the perspective… after “adventuring” around Uganda with the four kids, pretty much anything we could scheme up here feels easy).  We have also figured out how to get everyone out of the house on time in the morning (a victory to celebrate for sure)! Macy and Owen continue to be fantastic big sister and brother and there is peace in our home. At some hours of the day it’s a loud, chaotic peace, but it’s peace nonetheless and I am thankful for it.

(And if I take a long time to call or text you back, I hope you’ll forgive me, ha. I didn’t say I have an abundance of time of my hands, I just said I’m having fun!)