So, it’s been a while. I’m still here, though. Still embracing crazy.
Since we’ve last talked, we have moved cities, changed jobs, left every ounce of familiarity and comfort, added another child to the family, endured some serious loss and trauma, and are currently battling my newly diagnosed Lupus.
One of the challenges of going through an auto-immune disease is that it is so dehumanizing to feel like your body is in revolt against itself. It has been a struggle to feel “normal,” as things about my body and my abilities (that previously came naturally) have become huge struggles. Losing my “self” in a context that was totally new (new community, new schools, new church, new friends) was so isolating as I struggled to make connections and feel known, when I felt like the real me was hiding or lost somewhere in the distant past.
And so, now that things are stabilizing a bit (I think!), I’m working hard to recover my health, and my self. I’m realizing that I will never recover my same exact self, as there are some parts of me I have gladly left behind in my quest for health and wholeness (that’s a future-post in the making). But there are things about me that are so very core to who I am, that have been suppressed for a season so that my body and my brain could focus on the singular task of healing. And it’s time to wake them up. Hosting, writing, dancing, photography, adventure, friendship, community-building… these are the things I am ready to welcome back into my life… the places where I find my “self” and shape my “self,” time and time again.
So I’ve decided to pick this little blog back up. And I’m not sure how it will go, but my current hope is to carve out some space in my evenings for a little free-write and reflection. I won’t be hurt if those of you who subscribed to this blog 4 years ago to follow our Uganda adventures decide you don’t want an email notification every time I decide to do a little stream-of-conscious musing, but you are welcome to tag-along, if you like!
So, here we go. Embracing crazy, part deux.
(Plus a photo of the kids, because, #itsbeenawhile.)