“And this is the great paradox of Africa: the beauty and the messiness all co-existing together.” -Shelley Homeyer
Maybe that’s why I found it refreshing. It coexists. There’s no concealing of one or the other and one is not diminished by the other’s presence. Both exist in abundance. Where I live we avoid the messy (certainly the appearance of it) and we struggle to embrace both because we are afraid that the messy and painful will take away from the beauty and goodness. I’m learning that the ability to look both square in the eye and live fully-present among them is possible and actually very freeing.
It is a very unique and difficult position to be in – to have so much love and yet so little power. Hang in there my friend. The day will come when they will finally be with you, your hands can finally offer comfort and your heart can rest in a way it simply cannot do when your children are a world away.
-excerpt from an email from college-roommate and fellow adoptive mom, Haley
“Adoption is an imperfect answer to an impossible question. I happen to wish that all Babies could be raised by their first mothers & fathers, the people who brought them into this world, the people whose blood history they share. But we don’t live in a world where “shoulds” always happen. Life is messy and painful, life includes loss and heartache. And so adoption exists.” – http://www.wondermentetc.com
Mom, are my “brother and sister” orphans right now?
-Owen, age 4 (big questions from a little guy)
god, be with our “brother and sister” and please, please, please, let us go get them very soon.
amen. (Owen’s dinner-time prayer tonight)
mom, i miss my brother and sister.
– macy ludwig (our 5 year old daughter), accurately summing up how we are all feeling right about now.
This is the stage you realize God can put a vicious fight in you for a kid without your blood coursing through his veins. Those early doubts about loving a child without the helpful instincts of biology are put to rest. Of course, you don’t know this kid yet, but you love him in your heart, in your bones. You’ll fight like hell to get to him. You can’t think of anything else. You are obsessed. You dream about him like you did when you were pregnant. You realize that when God said He sets the lonely in families, He meant it, and He doesn’t just transform the “lonely” but also the “families.” He changes us for one another. God can create a family across countries, beyond genetics, through impossible circumstances, and past reason.